Devotion
by lurumi
Summary: Riku always knew that Sora and Kairi were meant to be. Kairi thought different. SoRiku, implied SoKai [One-Shot]


**A/N:** Ahhh, I was bored so I got to writing. Might as well dump it up here, aha. |D  
I really hope I wrote them at least somewhat in character, for some reason it's difficult for me to get Riku and Sora right, ahhh orz;  
Oh well, at least I'm happy with my characterization for Kairi - for some reason a lot of people tend to write her like a frigid bitch? Dunno where that idea came from, but sure.  
I guess I'm not amazing at writing or something, but I hope it's at least enjoyable for some :'D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts and sadly, I never will

* * *

"It might be Kairi's, you know?"

"Yeah, right."  
He playfully shoves me, but I catch the embarrassed smile that flashes over his face.  
I can't deny that it hurts, but this is how it's always been.  
How it should be.

"I'm serious."

Sora blinks and curiously eyes me for a second, then chuckles lightly as if to dismiss the very thought.  
I can tell that he's contemplating it in his mind though.

Truth is; I've always known those two were meant for each other.  
Ever since she first came along that day on the island – ever since Sora first laid eyes upon her.

We were still little back then.

The younger me stubbornly kept on denying that Kairi's sudden arrival was going to change anything. After all, it was almost one of nature's laws – everyone and _everything_ naturally gravitated towards Sora. That's the kind of effect he had on people.  
It's the reason why we became friends in the first place – and the reason why Kairi fell in love with him at first sight.  
And Sora, well – he's always been extraordinarily friendly. Of course they'd hit it off right away.  
That's what I told myself anyway.  
Every time they shared one of those secret smiles.  
Or every time Sora would try to impress Kairi by beating me in everything.  
It's what I told myself when he took her to that cave too.  
_Our_ cave.

I guess I was just trying to deny the obvious.

By now, I'm pretty sure that I could say that Sora felt the same for her.  
Still feels the same.

There's a heavy silence as Sora stares up at the sky thoughtfully, nervously turning the

small envelope in his hands over and over.  
"..Do you really think so?" he asks me after a while, voice uncharacteristically quiet.  
I just laugh.

"You really are as oblivious as ever, Sora." I sneer at him, making him squawk in indignation.  
The serious mood brightens up somewhat though, which puts me more at ease. Whenever we approach this subject, I always try to avert it. Something about how affectionately Sora talks about her, how his eyes seem to glow with a new light whenever she's brought up into a conversation makes me ill. A rueful smile tugs at my lips, but it doesn't catch his attention.  
"To be honest, I'm surprised you haven't noticed it yet after all these years."

"I don't get what you're saying at all.." Sora's hand clutching the alleged love-letter tightens a little, his face twisting into a small frown. "You're trying to say she _likes_ me?"

His curious expression makes me sick to my stomach.

"Did you figure that out by yourself?" I roll my eyes, but grant him a small grin to show my sincerity. He flushes abashedly and punches my shoulder lightly, "Don't be a jerk about it, Riku. I'm not good with this sort of thing." I scoffed, raising an eyebrow at his insecurity, "Come on, Sora, you guys are practically dating already."  
If I didn't know any better, I'd assume the same thing as many others at school did; _'Sora and Kairi are a couple, and have been for years_'.  
"Besides, who else could it be? _Selphie_?"

I chuckle at the way his face scrunches up and he shudders, disgusted by my suggestion. "Selphie? No offense, but that'd be gross. I think she likes Tidus anyway. It definitely isn't Naminé either, she's with Roxas – and there's no way it'd be Xion or Olette, right?" He continues talking before I can reply. "Olette's with Pence, Aqua's with Terra.. _Larxene_ isn't even an option and– "

"Alright, I get the point, Sora." I interrupt him exasperatedly, snatching the love-letter from his grip. I scan it quickly and there's no doubt about it, the so-called '_anonymous_' written at the bottom might as well be '_the girl you've had a crush on for years now, Kairi_'. The handwriting, the neat structure of the letter, the near poetic phrases – I'm pretty sure she wasn't even trying to hide her identity. I'm also pretty sure that Sora knows that too. He's just seeking confirmation from me, his best friend.  
Someone who he always turns to for everything.

Everything.

It means I have a certain position of power; Sora trusts my judgment above _all _else, even

Kairi's. I'm aware of that. With a few words, I could probably even make him give up on Kairi forever; that's how far the extent of our friendship goes.  
I can't say that I've never thought about it.

"It's definitely hers." I confirm, flashing him a reassuring smile. "You should ask her out."

But I never do.  
I just do and say whatever I think makes Sora the happiest.

And no matter how much I try to convince myself that my love for Sora goes far beyond what Kairi could ever hope to feel for him; he'd be the happiest with her.  
Not with me. I'm his best friend.

And I always will be.

* * *

When a few days later he finally manages to find the courage to ask her out and she agrees, I'm satisfied. The smiles on both of their faces are enough to make me forget about my own feelings for a while.

The next couple of weeks, Sora is positively glowing and it makes me happy just as much as it breaks my heart. Nothing much has changed, but there's a distinctly different air every time we hang out, the three of us. It's the little things that make me feel like the third wheel. They try to avoid that, but I always do. It's almost inevitable though.  
Comes with the whole '_in love with your best friend who's dating your other best friend_' package.

Kairi isn't stupid though, she's observant. I know that she can tell that something's bothering me. Whenever Sora greets her with a hug or a kiss, her eyes always meet mine for a split-second as if to gauge my reaction. A soothing smile on my part usually relieves her from her worries, but not today.

Her piercing blue eyes are locked with mine and I find it hard to look away. Her lips are set in a frown and her eyebrows are creased with worry. Kairi and I have never been as close as we both are with Sora, but even so, the three of us are fiercely protective over each other. Kairi has always been a mother-hen though; fussing over her friends and all of their problems; she really is the most selfless girl I've ever met.

"I know you're lying, Riku. Why can't you tell me?"

The tone of her voice isn't harsh or demanding – it's almost understanding. That's the reason why it makes me nervous. I briefly wonder if she might know and anxiety washes over me, but I dismiss the thought. Instead I sigh, forcing a small smile. "I can't tell you – or anyone." _Ever._"It's not a big deal, just let it go." In return, she firmly shakes her head and her frown deepens.

"Don't say that! I'm worried about you-" I try to cut in, but she silences me with a hand on my arm. "We both are."

I unconsciously clench my fists as she brings up Sora. She knows that he's my weakness, and she wouldn't ever hesitate to use that to her advantage. "Kairi, you and Sora.." I trail off, knowing that Kairi will fill in the rest. "I'm sorry."

Sadness is written all over her face and it stings like a knife. The grip on my arm loosens and instead, it travels up to cup my cheek. To anyone else, it would look like a loving gesture, but I know that that's the way she likes to express her feelings – through body language.  
She's confused most likely, wrecking her mind over why I could possibly be against their relationship when I was the one who encouraged Sora to pursue her in the first place. Her eyes narrow, almost if she's attempting to read my mind.

".. I've seen the way you look at us, Riku." she states silently, her glance flitting over my face as if she would find the answers to all her questions there. "That's not just a friend who feels excluded." We're both thinking the same thing, and I almost smile in a sick sense of amusement as she voices my thoughts. "That's _heartbreak_."

I don't want to lie to her.

"I guess it is."

It stays silent for a long time and then suddenly – something in her expression changes. Her eyes grow wide, lips parting slowly to form a small '_oh_'.  
My heart tightens.

"You're in love with Sora."

It's not a question. It's a _statement_.  
And I don't deny it.

* * *

The next time I see Sora is just a day after that.  
It's in the morning, some minutes past five, and I'm awakened by the sound of my best friend crawling through my bedroom window and crashing to the floor. His eyes are red and puffy, and he looks like he hasn't slept all night. I let him slip into my bed without saying a word and I know that he's grateful. He shifts to lie on his back, and wordlessly stares up at the ceiling. I'm in the same position next to him, waiting for him to speak. It's always like this.

"Kairi broke up with me." It's said like a nearly inaudible whisper, but I catch it. My head turns to face him and my stomach turns when I see the horribly sad expression he's wearing. I open my mouth to say something but decide against it and return to watching him patiently as he seems to be in thought about something. ".. Do you know what she said?"

I merely raise my eyebrows in question.

"She said; 'The letter wasn't mine, Sora. I'm not really in love with you.'"

_I know that_. After Kairi had confronted me, she had admitted exactly that. She couldn't bring herself to reject Sora when he'd asked her, so she had agreed to go out with him. I had been angry. But then again, whose fault was it anyway? Who had told Sora to ask her out? I couldn't blame Kairi for saying 'yes', not when the guilt I felt was so much worse than my anger. "_I do have feelings for Sora_." That's what she had said. "_But Riku... They don't compare to yours, do they?_"

I couldn't answer her question back then, but she figured it out by herself. Kairi had left after that, apparently to find Sora and break it off with him, as I had just found out. I wanted to be happy about it. But knowing that I had – albeit indirectly – hurt both of my best friends was more painful than anything. She had only just proven again just exactly how selfless she was, and I could almost hate her for it.

I realize that Sora's eyes are closed and for a second, I think he fell asleep during my thoughts, until he opens them again. They're a bit unfocused and I can tell that he has trouble with keeping them open. Lack of sleep? He's looking at me expectantly and I realize that he wants me to react to his 'news'. But what can I say?  
I can't lie to Sora.

"I know."

Surprisingly, he smiles at me sadly and sighs, turning over on his side to fully face me. I do the same. "I know, Kairi told me."  
My heart suddenly drops as I realize what that may mean. She didn't actually tell him, did she? No, if she had, Sora wouldn't be here. I try to keep my composure from crumbling in front of my best friends' eyes, but it's tough. "She did..?"

He nods, but doesn't continue on the subject any further – which confirms my hopes. I almost breathe a sigh in relief. Suddenly, he sits up and leans against the headboard of my bed. "I did like her, you know. Kairi." I frown at the use of his words.

"_Did_?"

"Well..."

Sora looks away, wistfully staring out of the window to the beginnings of a rising sun. It's odd for me to see him so quiet, so thoughtful – so unlike the happy-go-lucky boy I've known since I was born. "I only asked her out because you told me to, Riku."

My eyes widen and I shoot up from my lying position abruptly, completely forgetting about keeping my calm. "What are you talking about?" I asked – rather harshly – but Sora didn't seem to mind.

"You told me to ask her out, so I did."

"I thought you were in love with her!"

Sora looks at me, surprised. "You did?" My ears are ringing and it's hard to make out his words. Am I really that stupid? No, I can remember that years ago – Sora definitely told me he had a thing for Kairi, so then why..?

"You told me that once, so what was I supposed to think? I can clearly remember you getting angry at me because you thought I liked Kairi. Something about '_paopu fruit_' ring any bells?"

There's a hint of a blush on his cheeks and it doesn't take a genius to see that I embarrassed him badly. "That was years ago – don't remind me of things like that!" I can't help but chuckle and I can tell it relaxes him, making my nerves settle down too. "Yeah – I guess I had a crush on her but that wasn't anything compared to.." he leaves his sentence unfinished and I take notice of the way his hands nervously fidget with the sheets. "Anyway, that was years ago." Well, _that_was odd.

"But it doesn't make sense." I start, still confused with the way things had turned out, "If you didn't like Kairi, why did you ask her out anyway?" _I can hardly imagine that it was only because of my 'advice'._

"I mean, you thought that letter was Kairi's already, right? Why did you have to ask me first?" Sora immediately pales, his eyes widen and he takes in a sharp breath. My eyes search his face carefully and I'm puzzled by his reaction.

"..Sora?"

"The letter, uhm.."

"Yes?"  
He seems to struggle with finding the right words and getting them out, and I felt myself become more nervous by the second.

"I thought it was yours." he finally blurts out, licking his lips nervously afterwards.

You thought it was mine?"

"Err, well.. I guess not really 'thought', more like.. 'hoped'?"

I could only stare and it made him even more uncomfortable than he already was. "Well, don't look at me like that! It's not easy admitting this, you know?"

"I'm sorry, it's just.." _I do not comprehend what you just said?_He had 'hoped' that I had written that incredibly flowery love-letter in which I – had that been the case – had allegedly spilled all my feelings of undying love for him? So, that meant..?

"Sora, are you in love with me?"

"Do you really have to be so blunt about it?" he asks me tensely, his voice small. He's still trying to avoid my eyes, but I ignore his small sounds of protests as I cup his cheeks and turn his head to face me.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He seems somewhat surprised with the way that I'm taking his confession, but then again – _Sora_doesn't know that I feel exactly the same way he does. He doesn't answer me for a while and I want to say something else before he finally does.

"I thought that you'd hate me."

He looks absolutely miserable while saying it and it almost hurts to look at his face.  
"Sora, I–"

"Actually, I still think so–"

He's rudely interrupted by me grabbing his shoulders and drawing him into a loving embrace, my hands buried almost desperately in his clothes. I breathe in the familiar, comforting scent that is _Sora_– and all I want at the moment is to never let him go again.

"I love you too."

I startle myself by saying it, but the way Sora's head shoots up – his expression outshining the _brightest_ of stars – makes me realize just how much I mean it. And when it takes him about three seconds to notice that I'm kissing him, I am only reminded again just _why_ I do so much. Momentarily, I feel foolish for ever thinking that Kairi and Sora belong together, because I can't deny just how incredibly _right_this feels.

It reminds me of Kairi's words.

Before she left, she had confessed that she always felt like an outsider.  
I was confused. After all, Sora had always tried to drag Kairi into everything we did.

Back when we were still small, she had said, she had constantly felt like an intruder, as if she was driving us apart. It pained me to admit that that was exactly what I had always thought, but Kairi – of course– just waved it off with a smile because; '_when you're in love, what can you do_?'.

According to her, she never stood a chance against me.

* * *

Kairi and I have lot more in common than I care to admit. We're both insecure and we both try to hide it, but we deal with it in different ways. While Kairi doesn't necessarily hide her feelings, she does have a certain sense of secrecy. To be honest, even now, I can never really tell what she's thinking. Her cheerful behavior and big heart distract from her own insecurities, which she never shows, and I imagine that that must be difficult. I do the same, but instead of covering them up – I just don't acknowledge them. The reason that I'm always so – as Sora would describe it – cool, calm and collected, is because I'm just not good at expressing myself.

I used to be a lot more outgoing as a kid, but when Sora and I first entered school, that changed. Suddenly, I had to share my best friend with everyone and I hated it. I built a wall around myself and Sora was the only one who noticed.  
Our friends; Tidus, Wakka, Selphie – they just got used to it and eventually, everyone did.

He's the exception. Sora.  
It's hard _not _to open up around him.

* * *

It's a few days after that morning, and by now – the entire island probably knows about our relationship. That isn't odd though; the way Sora goes around telling everyone he meets about it. Kairi too.

Being _Kairi_, she had been incredibly excited for us and the relief that both of us had felt after that was indescribable. After that, it didn't exactly come as a surprise when the next day at school all of our friends suddenly seemed to be incredibly interested in our love lives.

Sora loves the attention, I don't – and naturally our friends embarrass the hell out of me for it. The only reason why I let them is because when they do, Sora gets this kind of prideful expression on his face and it makes my heart skip a beat every time.  
I would never admit that though. Not in front of the rest.  
When we're alone, it's different.

When we find some time to get away from them for a bit, which doesn't happen a lot, I find it hard to stop telling Sora how much I love him.  
In return, he doesn't have to say the same, because his smiles are worth more than a thousand words.

Though his kisses, they're not bad either.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


End file.
